TCHB-058 Secret Records of a Certain Man 16

Sartre once said, Human beings are condemned to be free.Every day, we are made to choose. We are condemned to the freedom of choosing.

Like breathing, I process materials again today.Is this work, pleasure, escape, or an extension of the revelation God gave me?No one knows. I don’t know either.

They say reason and desire are born from the same brain.If so, who could blame this restless heart of mine?

What appears before my eyes is a perfect body.Orderly steps, hesitation-free actions, and a woman’s silent surrender.The older man’s sense of beauty has already reached the level of art. I used to hate it.But before I knew it, I was worshipping it.

They say contempt is the reverse side of admiration, and that is exactly it.I am reacting with my whole body to the material of the man I thought was the worst of the worst.As if my body had forgiven it before my soul did.

The idea of right and wrong died inside me a long time ago.My father’s voice, saying, Don’t lie, still lingers in my ears.But Dad, I don’t want money.I want to see it.The uncensored material, right in front of me. With everything I have.If that is a sin, then I have already been punished.Every night, alone.

By entering this industry, my reputation collapsed like a sandcastle.If the public ever found out, the word die would be sprayed on my door,people would avert their eyes at the convenience store register,and notifications on dating apps would fall silent forever.

And yet, I still upload today.The material, no, my soul.This act is now a ritual of self-destruction, and an offering for rebirth.

The women were astonishingly polished.The line of the back, the angle of the legs, the shape of the face.I stare intently as those things begin to break down.And then I hold my breath.Beauty lives in destruction. The older man knows that.

Why do people get excited by images like this?No, who decided they should not be excited?The law? Ethics? Or common sense?

Common sense is nothing more than the accumulation of prejudices acquired by age 18.— Einstein said that too.

Today, too, I drown in a sea of prejudice,and deliver this ethically awful, yet intensely captivating video to you.

So please,don’t spread it too widely.But if possible, I want you to watch it more than anyone else.

This contradiction is my honesty.